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 | Languages Jokes |
Collection of jokes about English, languages, and speaking.It forms the basis of a large percentage of the jokes we hear every day, so it has a special place in our hearts.
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form...!
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1. Avoid alliteration. Always.2. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.3. Employ the vernacular.4. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc. 5. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.6. Remember to never split an infinitive.7. Contractions aren'...!
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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility.As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improveme...!
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Dearest creature in creation,Study English pronunciation.I will teach you in my verseSounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.I will keep you, Suzy, busy,Make your head with heat grow dizzy.Tear in eye, your dress will tear.So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.Just compare heart...!
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BEING CREATIVE WITH TROUBLESOME KIN You are working on your family genealogy and for sake of example, let's say that your great-great uncle, Remus Starr, a fellow lacking in character, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889. A cousin has supplied ...!
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The Committee for the Reduction of Redundancy and the Antiproliferation of Repetition has decided not to meet until they have their first meeting and thus will not be meeting until the first time.Their Pre-meeting Statement wanted to make this clear before they had their fir...!
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